My Search For N

  My earliest memories are from way back when I was about just 
post-hatchling age.  I would guesstimate about 10 years by a human 
calendar, but such is not important. Even at that age I knew my 
N, and we would play in much the same way that wolves do
on those cheesy B documentaries - complete with yelping and chasing.
(I must have been the biggest pain at that age - no matter).  At any rate, N herself was deep blue with lighter (light or pure) blue nderscales, and was positively beautiful to me.  As I grew, I came to love her beyond the usual "game and play" period. And I was given the name K, which breaks down to mean "The will of the soul," with hers coming somewhat close to "inner fire." 

 Much of the memories I have that are still shrouded in haze as are my times with her, but our love was quite strong, and I have a few scraps to go by about my time with her from as early as the hatchling ones I already said.  It sort of blurs, there is mostly time spent together - the whole spectrum of loving each other, and times spent enjoying life.  After that comes the typical stereotype - I was given my cave, which I can remember in every detail... right down to the hole in the roof that I used to watch the stars at night.  At any rate, parts after that point are best described as an easy life - it was the last time I was truly happy.  Happiness is having everything you need, having your true love in sight and always with you, and not having a single problem in the world and is a very good thing. 

No problems until one night - more like early morning, before the sun came up - a  friend called me out of a dead sleep to come see something.  What I was brought to see I still have trouble describing in words - and something quite potent in my own past life regression. 

I saw a dragon lying dead, one that I knew, at the crossroads of the 
"village" proper. A dear friend and close advisor of mine.  Killed by a force bound to a name I still cannot identify - the "Chshaza" (Chsh is one sound).  Enraged, I howled at the loss, but I snapped out of it when I remembered my N - I was worried for her safety and full of despair.  I saw her next.  She was there, alive and well, at her cave 
(thankfully). At this, I told her that it was time I went to fight this... 
Chshaza? And that I would return and seek her out, no matter how 
long it took. She then reassured me of her love for me, and that she would do the same. After that, I never saw her again... 

The remainder of memories before the end of this... war? - are mostly ghosts and phantoms that I pick up on at times.  Most are quite painful, and some are of close friends dying in battle.  Although I'm no damned hero, this is who I am.  When I returned, after all was said and done, her old cave stood empty. She was simply... gone.  I lived perhaps one, two years after that point, until one day by the sea, I watched the waves roll by, and laying down my head, praying to find her, it all ended. 

 I plan to keep my word to her, to find her again, no matter how muc
h time over however how many lives it might take.  It's just something that is painful for me.  The last time I tried to find her proper, I was assailed by another phantom.  As far as I can tell, however, my being on this Earth in the first place means  something, so I would assume she is here.

as told to Lair2000



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