MY NIGHTMARE BLOOPERS

A Troubled Beginning

Sally is at the window combing her hair.
Voice in off: I am the "Who" when you call who's there, I am the wind blowing through your hair!

The "wind" is so strong that blows Sally backwards and into the tower scenary: EEEEEE!
A thud and a crash are heard inside.

Technician in Effects: I said we should had checked these ventilators!

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Hanging men tree: Everybody scream, everybody...ops! (he trips and falls forward, almost hitting the camera)
Hanged men: Oh!
Mayor (off-screen): Timber!
Many people laugh.

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Jack rattles his bone hand close by Zero's tomb. Nothing happens. He rattles again once, twice. A low snore is heard underneath. Annoyed, Jack kneels and knocks hard on the ground. Zero jumps out with a sleepy face.

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Jack (going down the hill): Oh there's an empty place in my bones...
The uncurling hill suddenly curls back under his feet and he falls down.

Follies in Forest and Xmastown

Jack is walking into the forest when the sun on his face makes him squint. He puts sunglasses on.

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Jack: No, Zero, I'm not in the mood.
Zero: Bark, bark!
Jack: Ok, boy, here it goes.
He tosses one of his ribs. The dog promptly catches it and flies away.
Jack (runs after him): Hey! Come back here with my rib!

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Jack (at the top of a post): The children are throwing snowballs instead of throwing...whoooaaaah! (the not so stuck post goes down with him)

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Jack (leans down beside the bed of the asleep elven kids) :...cozy little things secure in their dreamland.(sigh) What's th... (The boy next him sits abruptly and hits his head on Jack's.)
Both: Ow!
Director: Take two!

The Doctor's Unlucky Day

Dr. Finkelstein opens his head to scratch his brain. His head top slams on his fingers: OWW! @#$$!!

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Dr Finkelstein (smells soup): What's that? Hmm, worm's wart... and frog's breath.
Sally: What's the matter? I-I thought you liked frog's breath.
Dr: Nothing is more suspicious than worm's breath... err, I mean frog's wart, err, damn....
They both can't stand and burst in a laughter.

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Dr. Finkelstein: Until you taste it I won't swallow a spoonful. (gets the spoon to Sally's lips)
Sally: I'm not hungry (slaps the spoon off his hand, but it hits the old man's head with a metallic thud.)
Dr. (holding his vibrating head): Ouuh!
Sally: Sorry.

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Darn Cat or A Hard Musical Number's Night

Sally (singing): I feel there's something in the wind... (she twirls, looses her balance and crashes onto one of the musicians)
Director: Take two!

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As Sally sings, a cat shows up on the gate and hops off it. She leans down to him, but he hisses and turns away from her.
Director: Take five!

Sally caresses the cat and tries to pick him up, but he claws her and runs away.
Director (sighing): Take twelve!

Finally, (through patience and some fish bits) Sally manages to gather the cat as she sings.
Zero (flies onto the scene): Grrrr! Bark, bark, bark!
Cat: Ffft! (jumps off Sally's lap and runs off scene, pursued by the ghost dog.)
Sally: &%$*^!!!
Jack (off scene): Zero! Come here!
Director: Sob, sob, sob.

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Strip-tease or Pumpkin Short King

Jack :Yes, I am the Pumpkin King!
He laughs and RIP! tears his Santa Claus rags off... to reveal nothing but an old-fashioned short with pumpkin drawings.
Everyone burst out cackling. Jack looks blankly, then notices the cause.
Jack (blushing): Oh my gosh! I forgot the suit!! (covers his only piece of cloth with his hands and quickly dodges off the scene).
Everybody keeps cackling.
Jack (angry): That's no fun!
Director (still laughing): Cut! Wardrobe!

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Oogie Boogie

Oogie-Boogie:J-Jack? They said you were dead!
Jack tries to look angry, but doesn't manage it and they start laughing.

Oogie-Boogie:.. They said you were dead! You must be... double dead! (steps on a switch. Nothing happens.)
Oogie: You must be double dead! Double dead! (steps again on the switch once, twice, then jumps on it and plagues aloud)
Jack: Must be stuck.
Director: Cut! (grumbles)

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Oogie Boogie approaches Sally's loosen leg: My, my, what have we here? (takes her shoe off and tickles her foot) Ah, lovely. Tickle, tickle, tickle...
Sally laughs nervously off screen.
Oogie (looks annoyed at her direction): Oh, come on!
Sally: Sorry, can't help.

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The ropes which hang Santa Claus by his wrists tear and he crashes on the floor: Ouf!!
Oogie Boogie: Damn it! That's three times that happens ! I said this fatso was too heavy to be hanged like this!
Santa: Look who's talking, big belly!
They start to fight. Jack and others from cast tries to apart them, but they're also insulted and ends up joining the fight. If you pay attention, the Director's weeping can be heard at the background.

Speaker's voice: And that was one more episode of our Mooovies Bloopers Show! I hope you all have enjoyed it. Good night.

THE END

Helena Stumpf Morelli (Silver Lady)
E-mail: helstumpf@mailcity.com